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[ website | music ]
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[10 Apr 2009|10:13am]
ps, this is where you can find me now:

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keep the car running [30 Jan 2009|06:24pm]
[ mood | 45 degrees ]

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we've had moral nights with years laying straight [28 Jan 2009|10:59pm]
[ mood | overheating, not sleeping ]

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protest something good, nerds [19 Dec 2008|03:16pm]
[ mood | confuseds ]

internet censorship: quit sooking.

i think the government is doing a good thing. it's a positive step towards legislating for something that's really difficult to legislate for, and this step is going to lead to better developments in protecting people from unlawful and perverted material. everyone knows the internet is full of bad stuff, and limiting peoples' access to it is the right thing to do.

what are the arguments against it? that we live in a free country? buddy, we don't, and it's good. the law, and the morals we've been taught restrict the actions that we do. if you think we live in a free country, you're an idiot.

so instead of having a whinge that you won't be able to check out porn on the family computer while your parents are at work, try thinking instead of just reacting.

why not protest the government's environmental policy instead, please?

the end.

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[18 Dec 2008|03:46pm]
[ mood | angers ]

'adding a spoon of indian curry paste to almost any stew or braise will add that extra bit of oomph that is so often missing.

but it will certainly not turn it into a curry or even, in fact, add any great degree of spice.'

this is just a sample of the handy hints available on the website of my mortal enemy, iain 'huey' hewitson. in the hundred years since this abomination of a human being has lived in australia, he has been raping food all over the shop.

he has started no less than five restaurants, which have all gone out of business. and for the greater portion of my time on this earth, he has been bothering me with his 'cooking' on television programs such as 'rex hunt's fishing adventures', 'healthy, wealthy, and wise', and his own eponymous piece of shit show.

ok, firstly, how can someone so unlikeable have become such a tv stalwart? he consistently blames every mistake on his assistant, the mysterious (or completely fictional) 'mr moon'. 'mr moon has bought the wrong kind of flour again'. fuck, do it yourself, you fat shit. and he actually tells the cameraman, 'rob', how to do his job, as the program is being filmed. 'rob, can you just stay there, please?'. so professional.
he never loses the opportunity to criticise and talk down to his audience, 'use only good olive oil, please', 'use only strong paper towel, please', as though his audience are continually in argument with him.

and secondly, he shouldn't be on tv, because he can't cook. never before have i actually felt ill watching cooking programs, which i consider myself to be quite a fan of. here are some of the tasty dishes he has come up with over the years:
curry flavoured popcorn- microwave popcorn and curry powder. yes, that deserves a whole six minute segment, please tell me more.
pea soup served with, wait for it, fish finger croutons- frozen peas, thawed and blended, and though he made his own fish finger croutons on the show, which is still vomitous no matter how you look at it, he did encourage viewers to use the frozen kind.
ham steak with pineapple- you'd be mistaken for thinking it's 30 years ago. i love retro food, when it's done with a modern and ironic twist. oh no, he prefers it when it's a disc of ham, poached in pineapple juice, served with a tinned pineapple slice and a coating of pus-like tasty cheese on top. i am a vegetarian, and i also do not condone the suffering or killing of animals in any way, but even non-vegos can agree, that it is an insult of the highest order that a pig had to die to create that 'dish'.
and i can't forget any of his stews or casseroles. yum! what a guy!

lastly, there is the blatant and above all, wasteful product placement. he will use tins and jars of pre-packaged horrors, rather than make his own. the worst is paper towel. he is clearly sponsored by a paper towel company, and without remorse, he consistently prompts people to use their 'good paper towel' to clean the plate, rather than a cloth or tea towel. such an environmental activist.

why have channel ten allowed this ghoul to go on destroying lives? he has no redeeming features. and you know what, buddy? nobody thinks a fat dude in suspenders is funny anymore.

please, if you agree with me, i urge you to contact either the big man himself (huey@hueyscookingclub.com), or channel ten, and let's do something about it.
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i do not like it when you touch my breast [17 Dec 2008|01:23pm]
[ mood | un-cool ]

fucked up

so, when looking for the usual novelty stories on news.com, i came across this gem. what the fuck. i already have a pathological fear of robots and wife-beaters. canadian freak-of-nature le trung has created a wheelchair bound living doll called aiko, which he can live out acts of abuse upon.
what a misogynistic piece of shit. i'm guessing he doesn't have any friends or family who could have told him, 'mate, this is not a good idea'.
at least, with this video doing the rounds, this absolute cocknose will never have a chance of getting a real girlfriend to treat so badly.
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error: the listener returned the following message: 503 service unavailable [13 Dec 2008|11:28am]
[ mood | still alive ]

of course the uni website would crash every single time anyone wants to get their results.

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sunshine and champagne [11 Nov 2008|09:14pm]
[ mood | post-project lapse ]

idea for canvas, popped up during one of many late nights essay writing/project creating.
tapes are totally stolen from google image search. laziness disguised as po-mo!
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swallow a little of the sea [21 Oct 2008|12:55am]
[ mood | heavy bird ]

crush x 1.
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there's no limit to the amount of times they can tell you get out, but turns out you can stay [20 Oct 2008|10:42am]
[ mood | it means i love new rave ]

oh ps so this is it:

balls of steel, i totally cruised the process. tattoos don't hurt at all. more to come.
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day six [16 Oct 2008|10:10am]
[ mood | doing my hair ]

green tea x 2
pasta with pesto
beer x 2.5 (seems to be my daily limit?)
potato and silverbeet bake

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day five [16 Oct 2008|10:04am]
[ mood | seamus mcvet ]

falafel and salad roll
hedgehog slice
lemongrass and ginger tea
some corn chips and salsa
beer x 2.5 (but pure blonde, so low calorie unlike anything else i ate)
pizza slices: magerita x 3, spinach and fetta x 2

(it was jes' birthday, so, beer and pizza)

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day four [14 Oct 2008|08:47am]
[ mood | i want a shower ]

green tea.
4 x vego pizza slice.
6 rice crackers.
jasmine tea.
1 x veg parma (best invention ever), with roast vegetables and massive pile of salad.

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day three [13 Oct 2008|09:39am]
[ mood | sunburning ]

green tea x 2.
return of leftover mushroom soup and other half of garlic bread. (soup was pretty bad the next day. won't be making that recipe again.)
2 x grilled cheese and tomato on mixed grain bread.
2 x doughnut.
4 x vego pizza slice.
2 x chocolate biscuit.

(seriously i am usually more healthy than this!)

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day two (quite a lot when you see it all written down) [12 Oct 2008|10:14am]
[ mood | biographing ]

leftover curry with rice.
2 x green tea.
2.5 beers.
1/16 serve of nachos.
2 individual wedges.
1 glass of that schweppes orange stuff with the hard to say name.
2 scoops fritz gelato - pistachio and white chocolate.
half a garlic bread.
1 multi-v juice.
1 serve of mushroom soup with lemon and thyme.
1 jasmine tea.

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foodscrobbler [11 Oct 2008|04:13pm]
[ mood | insane new heels ]

so i have like a last fm which is totally pervy and keeps a record of every song i listen to on itunes. so i'm going to record everything i eat in a week. food fm.

saturday, october 11:

vegemite and butter on mixed grain toast (vegemite was stolen)
peppermint tea
one original sized gym junkie boost with soy milk
a fuckload of water
curry with lentils, tomato, potato, sweet potato, pumpkin and rice. my cat tried it and ate some but also afterwards licked the toilet.
champagne (too many)
beer x 2
most of a gunshy jack's vegie burger (i stopped eating it, but later decided i wanted it and then alex was stuffing it into his face), plus a handful of chips and some coke

and i saw some salt and vinegar chips in the park, completely unattended, when i was shopping. i wanted to eat them. and i also saw a snake next to the yarra. one of the most horrible moments of my life.

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metro station, hifi bar and ballroom, 05/10/08 [06 Oct 2008|12:29am]
[ mood | still in awe ]

Who let Metro Station out of gaol?

I’ve never seen a sex offender like Trace Cyrus in my life. I was actually frightened when he ran onstage. Is there any chance Marilyn Manson is his biological father?

But before getting that treat, we had to suffer through Missing Hours, a female-fronted version of Nickleback from Geelong. Had the organisers even heard this band before they chucked them on the bill (or did it have something to do with them getting signed to Sony and the impressionable teen audience they'd be performing for...)? Pretty forgettable, except for a limp cover of ‘Send Me an Angel’.

What followed was a scheduled forty-five minute wait til the main event, prompting the question, had the organisers ever put on a show before?

But eventually Metro Station took the stage, surprisingly on time (I mean, how long does it take to put the CD in and press play?). And they rocked it. Until the backing tape started skipping and cut out. The audience was overwhelmed by nothing but the sound of the sticks tapping the rim of the drums. Fortunately, this situation only lasted for half of the song.

To Metro Station’s credit, they looked a little embarrassed, but since they probably don’t know what a real band is, they never lost heart, and singer Mason Musso just kept passing out bourbon shots to girls in the crowd.

They even rigged up a series of bright flashing lights designed to make the crowd forget, much like the neuraliser in hit movie, ‘Men in Black’. They needn’t have worried, as the crowd, like the boys themselves, didn’t seem to know what a real show was.

The second highlight was the way the band managed to change every thinly veiled reference to sex on the record, to the ‘f’word. I can’t believe that Musso and Cyrus’ mothers put this band together. It’s a whole album about doing it. ‘Seventeen Forever’ and ‘Wish We Were Older’ are odes to paedophilia and underage lovemaking. And I’m never going to dance to ‘Shake It’ the same after seeing Musso’s hand gestures. Plus, what was with all the heavy breathing?

It’s hard to put my finger on what was more disturbing, Trace Cyrus flapping about like the ghost of a convicted rapist in spray-on pants, or the fact that they went a whole show without needing to stop and tune their guitars. It’s funny, actually, that they even bother to pretend they can play. The instruments contributed about as much to the music as Cyrus’ designer tattoos. Even the keyboardist, Blake Healy, was miming. Full credit to drummer Anthony Improgo for actually keeping time during the backing tape crisis.

OK, so Metro Station can’t be a real band. They’re over-sexed teenagers who are just lucky enough to tour the world, get free stuff, groupie action, and anything else they want. Why would you bother learning to play?

But they love life (and why wouldn’t you?). They clearly got off from just being in front of an audience, and, not having the concerns of real touring artists, they had a stack of fun.

Metro Station have to be a joke, and it’s up for debate whether they get it or not, but either way, it’s the most fun and laughs I’ve had at a show in years, and that is a precious thing.

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derby bitches [03 Oct 2008|01:00pm]
[ mood | jasmine tea ]

roller derby tomorrow night.
guess when i got bored of doing this drawing? (pretty quickly!)
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the shape of political ideology to come... [02 Oct 2008|09:46am]
[ mood | smug ]

so... i guess the market won't sort itself out?

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cocktail umbrellas [02 Oct 2008|12:04am]
[ mood | messy ]

still counts as homework because it's planning the new hair i want.
i know the shading is fucked and also the perspective is skewed towards the bottom because i don't have a scanner and the photo i took of the original drawing was a bit dodgy.
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